A Guide To Redwall Mary Sue

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How Not To Write A Mary Sue

For the sake of this guide, any well-written, Non-Sue original character will be referred to by me as Sarah Lou from now on. That is, almost Mary Sue, but not quite.

~The Golden Rule~
The First Commandment of Non-Suedom is very simple;
No creature is perfect.
This covers many of Mary Sue's most annoying traits. If we can apply this rule to our fanfiction, we're already halfway there. You'll see what I mean as the chapter continues.

~Looks~
Your character should not look like a rodentine supermodel. Even if she does, individuals have different ideas of beauty, so she's not going to be "the most stunning thing I've ever seen" to every single creature she meets. Also, there's the species barrier to consider. (I'm not against mixed-species in its place, but this is not The Muppets; try to make it at least vaguely plausible. No pigs paired with frogs!) I'm not saying make your Sarah Lou ugly. Looks aren't everything, but your deity of choice knows there are limits. Just give her a few minor flaws. She can be pretty, but don't overdo it. Unusual features such as bicoloured eyes are fine, but only one "oddity" per character. Make her look the way her backstory implies she should look. If she recently escaped from the slave pens, she may have been beautiful once, and may recover enough to be nearly as beautiful again, but now she's going to be dangerously thin and have scars from the whip. If she's a warrior, she will definitely have a whole lot of scars no matter how good a fighter she is, along with calloused paws from using her weapon, and she absolutely must have decent muscles. Also, for the love of candied chestnuts DON'T go overboard in your descriptions of the character. I don't want a full chapter describing her clothes. It gets very boring. Stick to one or two sentences.

~Personality~
Again, weaknesses are necessary here. Nobeast is going to be totally pure of heart and mind. You and I certainly aren't. There is no shame in basing a character on yourself. Where else do authors get inspiration? Brian Jacques based Gonff on himself as a child, and Hermione Granger is based on JK Rowling herself. If you do this, though, make sure she has your flaws as well as your strengths. Pick something which may cause problems in the story. She can't keep secrets, and so gives away the plan. She flies into rages at the drop of a hat and says things which could break up friendships. Anything! Just don't use anything which is only going to be used as an excuse for angst, or which isn't really a flaw, eg the old "being too nice" thing. See Chapter Eight. Make her personality fit in with influences in her backstory. Ex-slaves will not, contrary to popular Suvian belief, be angst machines. They will either be withdrawn, always planning revenge and barely speaking to anybeast, or paranoid, twitchy and suspicious of others. If your character is a "good vermin", explain why. A tragic past would push a vermin further into evil, not make them reform. Think of a reasonable explanation.
In short, make sure your character has an interesting personality, not just a boring Cardboard Cut-Out Hero(ine).

~Abilities~
By all means make your character a talented warrior, or a beautiful singer. But balance out their talents with things they CAN'T do. And I mean important things. Nobeast cares if Mary Sue can't play guitar to save her life, because that would not hinder her much unless it's one really bizarre story. Use something which is a real problem in part of the adventure. For example, if she's an expert healer she cannot bear to kill, which is a big, big problem when fighting for your life. If she's an amazingly good warrior, she's terrified
of water and the story is set on an island. (Cruel? Yes, but interesting.) You get the idea. Make sure you mix these into the story carefully and make them important, or Sarah Lou will still seem to be a Mary Sue. Physical disabilities like blindness and deafness are too often used for sympathy milking, so be careful with them. If in doubt, steer clear.

~Storyline~
If you have an interesting story, all but the worst of Mary Sues can be forgiven. Look at Cinderella and Snow White - rampant Suedom when looked at cruelly, but the stories have endured for hundreds of years. Bad storylines aggravate badly written characters, so be careful. Do not directly copy the storyline of one of the original Redwall books. If we wanted that, we'd read the original Redwall books. If you must use it, add your own twists to the plot. Base a plotline off a different book series, or a film, if you like, but change it enough that others who have read the book or seen the film in question will not accuse you of plagiarism.
On a related note, the books are set in medieval Britain. If you use a species for your character which was not around in medieval Britain, you had better have a good backstory which explains how he/she got to Mossflower. No, mink are not native to Britain, they were introduced in the 1920's. Lynx and wolverines are not native to Britain either. Do your research. Use these species if you want, but think before you do. How would Mossflower's animals react to them, since Mossflower seems to have a serious racism, or rather speciesism, problem? How would they act differently to Mossflower's native creatures? I'd like to see Native American raccoons or mink, or tribal African meerkats crossdressing and doing the hula - no, wait, that's Disney. But I'd like to watch them sing "Digga Tunnah". Surely that's more interesting than making them act exactly like funny-looking weasels? (Yes, I have a thing for the Jerbilrats and the Walking Stone.)

~Miscellaneous help~
As pointed out above, badly written stories make Mary Sue characters worse. Even if your character is well written, if you haven't spellchecked very few people are going to wade through the bad spelling to find out how good your character is.
If someone tells you that your character is a Mary Sue, do not yell at them for insulting your character. Even if they flamed you, do not flame them back. It makes you look immature, and if you're that protective of a fictional character, you have serious issues. Try to decide if the person has a point, see if you can improve the character, and consider seeking counselling if you do think you're overprotective of your creations.

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I'm going to cover Human Sues separately - in fact, in the very next chapter. They are pretty much a terrifying phenomenon on their own, and would take up too much room in this chapter.

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Chapter 20

Back to Writing

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Questions? Comments? Email me at wordsmith101NOSPAM@btopenworld.com (don't forget to delete the NOSPAM first).